


This Is Far From The End.

by mishamig0



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 04:02:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1040108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishamig0/pseuds/mishamig0
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't even know what to put here. Other than</p><p>I am so sorry.</p><p>Tell me what you think on twitter! @destiheck</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Far From The End.

Kevin has been worrying about Dean for the past three weeks. And he has reason to be, seeing as it started round about the time Cas...  
But now, as Dean sits in his room surrounded by empty beer bottles, he knows it’s time to say something. He gingerly makes his way to the edge of the older Winchesters bed before coughing lightly. Dean doesn’t so much as bat an eyelid, just stares ahead of himself and takes a large gulp of his beer.  
“Dean? Are you alright?” He asks.  
“Yeah man, just tired,” Dean replied gruffly. He downs the remains of his beer and goes for another, before Kevin touches his arm lightly and looks him in the eye.  
“It’s okay to be grieving, Dean. And I’m here if you wanna…talk, or anything,” Kevin knows all too well how emotionally constipated the older Winchester is, but it’s worth a shot. Because this is Cas.  
“No it’s not,” Dean answers darkly, shrugging Kevin off. “It’s not, okay? You don’t get it.”  
“What’s not to get, Dean? He was your best friend and he’s gone,” Kevin finishes quietly, using his long sleeve to bat his eyes. He didn’t know Castiel for long, but he knew enough for his death to have a sudden effect on him. Plus it was hard to hate the guy when Sam and Dean, mainly Dean, spoke so highly of him.  
Dean uncaps his fresh bottle and takes a long swig. He doesn’t want to remember that night, he doesn’t want to remember feeling Cas’ blood on his stomach and he doesn’t want to remember all the words left unsaid. “Cas was…I…” He’s unable to finish and Kevin understands. Of course he does, he and Sam had spoke about this particular subject plenty of times. All they wanted was for Dean to finally admit it to himself. And to Cas.  
“Cas was what, Dean?” He presses lightly. Dean’s eyes shoot up to meet his, filled with sorrow, regret and just pure heartache.  
“He was _everything_ , Kevin! He was our go-to guy when we needed some of his angel mojo, he killed his own god damn _brothers_ for us! He always came when we called and he saved our sorry asses so many times and I just…” Dean pushes the heel of his palm against his eyes. “I had so much to say to him, you know? I wanted to tell him about our lives, even though he probably already knew it. I wanted him to know about Dad, before Mom died. I wanted him to know how I..” he stops abruptly, taking another swig of his beer, nursing it in his palm.  
Kevin and Sam had come to a silent agreement and pretended not to hear what Dean was whispering to Cas that night. But Kevin remembers all of it.

_It was Cas’ first human hunt and he was excited. From what he was aware of, they’d be going after a demon. It was pretty basic, but he was still full of adrenaline after Dean had asked him to come along._  
 _“Hey Cas, got a demon case up in Michigan. Wanna tag along?” He had immediately said yes and started packing his few items of clothing. He missed the trench coat, but he’d have to make do._  
 _They stopped off for burgers beforehand, Dean and Cas at one side with Sam and Kevin on the other. Cas had been devouring a bacon cheeseburger and the look Dean was giving him was both uncomfortable and hilarious._  
 _“What?” Cas’d asked innocently._  
 _Dean had opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Instead, he shook his head and grinned. “Nothing, Cas. Nothing at all.”_  
 _They made their way to the home of the apparent demon and snuck in through the back door. They found him in the kitchen, making a cup of tea. They went through the procedure, exorcism, holy water, salt, the lot. Four against one, pretty easy right?_  
 _Wrong._  
 _Another female came up behind Cas and got him in the back with a kitchen knife and fled. Dean ordered Sam and Kevin to get her and sunk to his knees beside Cas, holding him up. “It’s alright, man. It’s just a flesh wound, yeah? We’ll have you patched up in no time.” he looked down at the dark red stain on Cas’ shirt and held on tighter, pulling him close. “You’re not going anywhere, Cas. Not now, not ever.”_  
 _“D-Dean..” Cas said, voice raspy. “Y-You have to go, you c-” he coughed then, blood coating his palm, “can’t see this.”_  
 _“I’m not going anywhere, buddy. Ya hear?” He drowned his face in his fallen angel’s hair, not noticing Sam and Kevin returning. “You’re gonna come home with me and we’re gonna watch Star Wars with Sam and Kevin. We’ll even order in burgers, yeah?” Dean feels his eyes sting as he holds back tears._  
 _“Yes, Dean. Of course.” Cas clutches Dean’s shoulder, forcing himself to meet Dean’s eyes. “I just- I want you to know tha-”_  
 _“Don’t start with the goodbye speech, Cas.” Dean rests his forehead on Cas’, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. “You can’t…you can’t leave me. We- I need you, man.” He notices Cas beginning to pale. “I woke up this morning and I thought ‘yeah, today’s the day. We’ll kick this demon’s ass then go out for food and I’ll finally tell him that I-’” He chokes on his words._  
 _“It’s okay, Dean. I know. I‘ve always known.” Castiel’s breath hitches. “I think it’s time.”_  
 _Dean pulls Cas impossibly closer. “No, Cas. No. You-You can’t go. Please.”_  
 _“Dean.” Castiel lifts his head up as if it weighs the world. He presses his lips softly to Dean’s mouth and sighs. “I’ve always wanted to know how that felt. It’s okay. This isn’t a goodbye,” Castiel falls down and Dean catches him, resting him on his lap, “it’s more of a…a ‘see you soon’, if you will.” His breathe wavers and his eyes begin to flutter close. He looks at Dean, eyes filled with adoration. “You can’t save everyone, my love.” His eyes close, and Castiel breathes his final breath._  
 _“Castiel, no. I love you, you son of a bitch. I- NO.” Dean sobs into the lifeless body he holds and whispers a final “no.”_

“Dean, it’s okay. He knew everything.” Kevin rests a hand on his shoulder. “He’s probably up there waiting.”  
“I didn’t wake up that morning knowing I’d have to say goodbye. If I did I’d…He’d know.” Dean finishes his third beer since Kevin had came to check on him, and from what it looked like, he didn’t plan on stopping.  
“Just know that he’s up there now, waiting for your sorry ass to finally make an appearance.” Kevin tried to laugh, but it was forced and meaningless.  
“He’s stuck up there with Metatron, Kevin. There’s nothing good about that,” Dean shouts and throws an empty bottle against the wall. Dean looks at the shattered remains, feeling as though they summed his life up pretty well, and if he wasn’t feeling so fucking worn out, he’d make a joke about him being the new Walt Whitman. “I’m sorry, it’s just…I can’t, I don’t know what to do.”  
“We’ll help you, me and Sam. And before you know it, you’ll be with him again. Promise.” Kevin says seriously.  
“Okay.”

Kevin spends the next two hours hearing stories about Cas, mostly Dean reminiscing the last five years. He learns about Cas first entering a “den of iniquity” and insulting the staff. And when famine had taken over, and Dean had to take a double take when Cas had told him how many burgers he’d eaten. Kevin can’t help but notice the tone of fondness in his voice and it makes him smile.

Dean will heal. One day. Until then, he’ll fight for his angel.

\--

Somewhere, Cas roams the empty halls of Heaven. He had expected to find himself in the bunker with the Winchesters and he and Dean together. But instead, it was white. Just…plain white. He had been looking around for weeks now, looking for anyone to tell him where all the souls had gone. He hears a shuffle behind him and is on guard as soon as he lays eyes on him.  
“Metatron.” He growls.  
“Castiel. You’re not due for another fifty something years! I’m glad I found you, I’ve been looking everywhere,” Metatron continues, as if he didn’t rip Castiel’s grace from him and force him to live amongst his Father’s creations.  
“What do you want, Metatron?” Castiel is far too torn and angry to care about what will happen to him. He’s dead anyway.  
“I’m here to restore you to your rightful place. You see all these empty halls?” Castiel nods. “This is, well this _will_ , be your Heaven one day. Oh, and it’s delightful! Filled to the brim with a lovely home and a man by your side.” Castiel’s ears quirk at that. He was sure everything he had heard Dean say was in his mind. “But that’s not for a while yet. So, this might hurt a bit. But it will be worth it.”  
“Wha-” But before Castiel can finish, he is blinded by a white light and suddenly, he’s outside the bunker.  
He looks at himself, and he is dressed exactly as he was that day. Dean’s green flannel with Dean’s faded jeans. All down to Dean’s batman socks.  
He hesitates before knocking the door.

\--

The door goes and Dean groans. Who could be calling at 3am?! He grunts and swings out of bed, unhappy at the cold wind hitting his bare torso and legs. He grabs his gun and holy water and unlocks the door, peering out a slight gap. He’s stunned silent as he sees the messy, dark haired man he never thought he’d see again. “C-Cas?”  
“Hello, Dean.”

 


End file.
